The Kick is Up and It's...Bad, Real Bad

To the player’s credit, he did block the ball, but it cost him two. I’m honestly not even sure as to the outcome of this game but I know as a fact that there must have been at least one player who left it all on the field. It would also appear that I have previously grossly undervalued the valor/stupidity maintained by the men who fearlessly charge to block that football. You go man, you got it done!

Oh, that brings me to another point, I figured out who invented the “cup” and why.

Vote for Bryan in the Fresh Faces 2011 International Contest

Vote for Bryan for the Fresh Faces 2011 International contest - ModelManagement.com

Yes, that's right, I may just try to see how many votes I can conjure up and do this! I humbly ask for your vote (click on the link above) and, if you have any heart at all, for you to pass this link along to your friends to vote. How entertaining would this be?!

Ok, I realize you may have a heart and just think this is ridiculous. I can respect that, but c'mon, help a brotha out!

Thanks to you all!

Why Do Black Birds Drop From the Sky?

Remember that little scare a while back in Louisiana about the black birds falling out of the sky? Well, it would appear that there is, in fact, more than one explanation. Exhibit 1: let’s play a round of chicken with an airplane. Dang. Airplane wins again.

But seriously, would you not be at least a little freaked out as you are piloting this big bird in for a landing and, WHAMMY!! You suddenly cut through a flock of birds like a hot knife through butter. A comforting fun fact on the 747 is that the forward 4 windows have an additional 12 retainer fittings to strengthen the window against bird strikes. So sorry birds, you will lose every time…there is even bird protection technolgy applied to the engines, too.

Who Says VW's Aren't Tree Huggers?

I can picture it now…

“Hey son, for your 40th birthday, I really wanted to do something special for you which is why I have saved my first VW as a 40th birthday gift. What’s that? No, don’t be silly, I didn’t just leave it in the same place back in the woods for the past 40 years of your life with a complete lack of care or attention. Oh, I see. Yeah, you got me there. I guess the 40 year-old tree growing between the bumper and body does give me away. Sorry. Well, happy birthday anyway, glad you’re a lumberjack.”

Cougartown

What is a cougar?

Exhibit A: Two fine specimens because a picture is worth a thousand words.

How to Lose Your Job 101:

How in the name of Tom Cruise does a boat manage to get itself into such a compromising position?! I would love to hear that it was involved in an annual ridiculously expensive yacht-jumping competition and the captain just absolutely murked himself. However, I believe it is actually quite simple in this case. Observe, if you will, the cables that seem to have at one time been attached to this yacht. After that, notice the gentleman with the "oh crap" face at the stern; which is, of course, because he is about to go swimming with a multi-million dollar yacht; a brand new Carvel. I'm certainly no mathematician, but I have derived what I believe to be the equation to obtain such a result:

Min wage crane operator + Beer x Other unfavorable substances / General apathy = General Disaster

PETA Beware: Killer Trombone

Yes, this is an addmittedly odd picture, but do you remember the good old days? The ones where you used to vigorously practice tuning your trombone with your squirell friends? Ok, well, maybe not, but this is apparently what it looks like to literally murder an animal with the sheer atrocity of a poorly performed trombone crecendo. Way to go, jerk.

…And yes, I really have no idea what is going on here in actuality. I can only speculate as to a host of possible explanations, most of them are utterly ridiculous, as is this photo. So in the interest of saving my typing hands, I will let this one rest in the minds of the beholders.

Mental Mischief

Ever wonder who sits around and makes these things? They must be pure geniuses….or people with odd interests that have way too much free time. Either way, I thank you, oh majestic mind boggler creator, for yet another gorgeous display of mind trickery.

In case you haven’t noticed already, here’s how this one works: take a close look, are there dots chassing each other around in the white space between the black squares or is that your mind? Despite what you may think, there are NO dots or markings of any kind in the white space – it is simply a mind game.

When Red Cards Don't Suffice

So you and the fellas are going out to enjoy a nice game of futbol to revel in some good old fashioned man-time. All of the classic elements are there. You know, some healthy competition, great displays of athleticism, a couple good physical confrontations, and, of course, a good solid man-thong. Hold that thought…brotha!? Ok, so I can understand the comfort of some briefs or compression shorts during a vigorous game of soccer, but a man thong, really!?? One could suffer more than just exposing themselves to the crowd; does the word “flossing” mean anything to anyone?

Here’s the deal, if you are going to be so bold as to rock that thing out like that (with matching colors, might I add – he thought about this), at least have some sort of fail-safe. For instance you could securely fasten your jersey to your shorts to prevent the ever-so-eager camera man from capturing this lovely shot.

Oh…South Africa lost the match 3-1; talk about salt on the wound.

Nobody is Innocent...

Sorry it has been so long since my last post but I would be remissed if I let this blog die. So without further ranting and raving, here is the reinstating picture and post:

You'll have to forgive me, but in all honesty, I don’t know how to describe or explain what is going on here. Perhaps it would be best to leave this image’s explanation up to some possible captions:
"Human Genome Project: Violent Babies?"
"Local SWAT Team Detained Until Further Notice"
"Changing the Diaper: A New Approach"
"Ok, so I escaped from the crib, but GEEZ!!"
"Celebrity Children: Overprotected?"
"Ok team, you know the drill, let's move out. Leave no survivors"
"C'mon guys, is public urination really that serious?!"