Who Says VW's Aren't Tree Huggers?

I can picture it now…

“Hey son, for your 40th birthday, I really wanted to do something special for you which is why I have saved my first VW as a 40th birthday gift. What’s that? No, don’t be silly, I didn’t just leave it in the same place back in the woods for the past 40 years of your life with a complete lack of care or attention. Oh, I see. Yeah, you got me there. I guess the 40 year-old tree growing between the bumper and body does give me away. Sorry. Well, happy birthday anyway, glad you’re a lumberjack.”

Cougartown

What is a cougar?

Exhibit A: Two fine specimens because a picture is worth a thousand words.

How to Lose Your Job 101:

How in the name of Tom Cruise does a boat manage to get itself into such a compromising position?! I would love to hear that it was involved in an annual ridiculously expensive yacht-jumping competition and the captain just absolutely murked himself. However, I believe it is actually quite simple in this case. Observe, if you will, the cables that seem to have at one time been attached to this yacht. After that, notice the gentleman with the "oh crap" face at the stern; which is, of course, because he is about to go swimming with a multi-million dollar yacht; a brand new Carvel. I'm certainly no mathematician, but I have derived what I believe to be the equation to obtain such a result:

Min wage crane operator + Beer x Other unfavorable substances / General apathy = General Disaster

PETA Beware: Killer Trombone

Yes, this is an addmittedly odd picture, but do you remember the good old days? The ones where you used to vigorously practice tuning your trombone with your squirell friends? Ok, well, maybe not, but this is apparently what it looks like to literally murder an animal with the sheer atrocity of a poorly performed trombone crecendo. Way to go, jerk.

…And yes, I really have no idea what is going on here in actuality. I can only speculate as to a host of possible explanations, most of them are utterly ridiculous, as is this photo. So in the interest of saving my typing hands, I will let this one rest in the minds of the beholders.

Mental Mischief

Ever wonder who sits around and makes these things? They must be pure geniuses….or people with odd interests that have way too much free time. Either way, I thank you, oh majestic mind boggler creator, for yet another gorgeous display of mind trickery.

In case you haven’t noticed already, here’s how this one works: take a close look, are there dots chassing each other around in the white space between the black squares or is that your mind? Despite what you may think, there are NO dots or markings of any kind in the white space – it is simply a mind game.

When Red Cards Don't Suffice

So you and the fellas are going out to enjoy a nice game of futbol to revel in some good old fashioned man-time. All of the classic elements are there. You know, some healthy competition, great displays of athleticism, a couple good physical confrontations, and, of course, a good solid man-thong. Hold that thought…brotha!? Ok, so I can understand the comfort of some briefs or compression shorts during a vigorous game of soccer, but a man thong, really!?? One could suffer more than just exposing themselves to the crowd; does the word “flossing” mean anything to anyone?

Here’s the deal, if you are going to be so bold as to rock that thing out like that (with matching colors, might I add – he thought about this), at least have some sort of fail-safe. For instance you could securely fasten your jersey to your shorts to prevent the ever-so-eager camera man from capturing this lovely shot.

Oh…South Africa lost the match 3-1; talk about salt on the wound.

Nobody is Innocent...

Sorry it has been so long since my last post but I would be remissed if I let this blog die. So without further ranting and raving, here is the reinstating picture and post:

You'll have to forgive me, but in all honesty, I don’t know how to describe or explain what is going on here. Perhaps it would be best to leave this image’s explanation up to some possible captions:
"Human Genome Project: Violent Babies?"
"Local SWAT Team Detained Until Further Notice"
"Changing the Diaper: A New Approach"
"Ok, so I escaped from the crib, but GEEZ!!"
"Celebrity Children: Overprotected?"
"Ok team, you know the drill, let's move out. Leave no survivors"
"C'mon guys, is public urination really that serious?!"

Moral: Don't Cheat, For Many Reasons

Well alrighty then, I'll make this into a quaint little multiple choice option for you in case you happen to find yourself wondering what is going on here:

A.The man appearing to be hanging from the balcony is actually a private in the military doing some in-the-field pull-ups for the aggressive drill master with the gun. The lady is the nurse just looking on.
B.An innocent man was just trying to borrow some pants from his neighbor who said “no” and flipped out.
C.The woman is worried about this man who is about to fall off the balcony and the only thing the other man had to try to help give him something to grab hold of was a gun.
D.The man with the large gun is about to annihilate the other guy after he caught his wife cheating on him with this schmuck. The schmuck is pretty much screwed either way because he can either fall and break some bones or stay and probably get shot.

By the off chance that you really didn’t know the answer, it is option “D”. Bad move guy, seriously bad move – I’d say you probably deserve what’s about to happen. And just a side note, anybody else wonder what the person taking this picture was thinking…?!

Iverson Strikes Again

The clock is ticking down to the last minute and the Hawks are up by one. Can Allen the superhero save the day? Let's see: In comes Iverson for a fantastic dunk, no wait, it's his infamous crotch shot. Unfortunately, no points were awarded for this. The look on the face says it all, there is just no way you can spin this to make it a pleasant experience.

Evolution of the Toilet: Go on the Go

In fact, I do find myself sometimes wondering if I could make using the bathroom more convenient or efficient while I'm on a road trip. Herein lies the magnificent answer: the toilet-mobile.

Just picture with me the glorious possibilities of this reality. First, let's pretend this idea morphed into a production ready, four-seater (because who wouldn't want it...). Next, let's pretend you are on a long trip in the car (aka your toilet-mobile)and you think, dadgumit, if my kids have to stop one more time to use the bathroom, I am gonna lose it...but wait...I don't...have to stop...brilliant! One can lose precious travel time with silly bathroom stops, and over your lifetime that could mean literally weeks added to your lifespan. Ahhh, yes, the entrepreneurial spirit of America strikes gold again!